January 4, 2008

Media Inquiries: 212-465-7594

Enemy Statement on Cloverfield

The Enemy has recently been made aware of film substance called Cloverfield, which is reportedly to be used by theatres to improve their performance. Based on
the agency's analysis of this product, The Enemy has determined that Cloverfield is an unapproved new drug. As such, it cannot be legally marketed without Enemy
approval under the agency's rigorous approval standards that are meant to ensure that film substances that are sold to American consumers are safe and effective.

The Enemy is concerned about the marketing and use of this unapproved product and is working with other Federal law enforcement agencies to aggressively engage,
enforce, and prosecute those firms or individuals who manufacture, distribute, or market Cloverfield.

"Our mission is to protect the American public from this potentially harmful product," said John Harlacher, The Enemy's Commissioner for Regulatory Affairs.

In the meantime, The Enemy are warning consumers that while little is formally known about the safety of this substance, its structure and relationship to better
known products leads The Enemy to believe that its use may pose considerable risks to health.

Although purveyors of Cloverfield may represent it as a entertainment supplement, in fact it does not meet the entertainment supplement definition. Rather, it is a purely
synthetic "designer" story derived by simple memetic modification, from another anabolic story that is explicitly banned by the MPAA.

The use of Cloverfield by theatres, as an alternative to other banned anabolic stories, was recently disclosed by the MPAA. This substance is closely and
structurally related to two other synthetic anabolic stories, gestrinone and trenbolone. Anabolic stories, which build nurological mass, can have serious
long-term health consequences in men, women, and children.

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